Here sits a small pile of laundry. This is the last load of Ray’s clothes that I will do for a while. Some of you might think, “Woo hoo, less clothes to wash!” I, however, love doing laundry (yes, I’m weird). This is a small part of what I do to take care of my family. Not having his clothes to wash signifies that he isn’t here for me to take care of anymore. For that matter, he isn’t here to take care of me either.
I’ve held this pile aside… keeping a piece of him here for just a while longer. I look at it and think, maybe today… but I can’t bring myself to do it yet.
I’m getting lonely. Yes, the boys are here and friends keep checking on me, but it’s not the same. I do get emails from him and, praise the Lord, I have been able to see his face on Skype, but it’s not the same. I imagine that there are a lot of lonely people around me everyday. We mask it with smiles and “I’m fine’s,” but inside we all want that other piece WITH us, that makes us whole. We want that hand that fits perfectly with ours. We want the arms that when wrapped around us, makes everything ok.
For now, I will focus of the fact that he loves me… even if it is from miles away. I will use this time to draw near to God to give me strength. I will remember always that His love surpasses all. With that knowledge in my heart, I can get laundry done… maybe today…
“may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:18-19