I’ve been dealing with some anger and disappointment lately. Neither of which are God approved. I’ve been feeling very convicted about my feelings. So, I’ve spent time in prayer and figured I’d share. Maybe you haven’t had the same circumstances, but you can relate to the feelings.
Deployments, for lack of a better word, suck. It is hard for those of us that are left behind, but I would argue that it’s much harder for the ones that leave. Our sailors and soldiers leave their families because duty called. They miss hugs from their spouse and children, they miss birthdays, births, first steps, I could go on forever. They are in foreign territory, usually around very ungodly people. They are surrounded by bad influences, gunfire, unbearable heat, freezing cold, dirt, or water.
I can guarantee you not one of them ever made an excuse that they were too busy to stand a watch amidst gunfire for your freedom, or that they didn’t know you well enough to enter enemy gunfire to protect your homeland. When they got a call they said “yes sir.” That being said, it makes me so angry that men and women in the US military sometimes feel forgotten. I’m dealing with this on a personal level right now and my feelings are high.
I understand that you “pray for” and “think about” them and that’s all well and good. But, do they know that? How can you call them a friend if you “are too busy” to send an email or simply forgot?! REALLY?! Imagine if it were you… you get up in the morning check your email… nothing… mail call everyday… nothing. How would that make YOU feel? Well, I know how it makes me feel and now, I guess you do too! 😉
So, I’ve had to pray about my feelings and I’ve come to realize that I‘ve placed MY expectations on others. I am mad, not because they didn’t do what was promised, but because they haven’t done what I think they should’ve. So, that isn’t good. I seem to think that if you consider yourself a good friend, you would make contact every now and then. Maybe I should just accept the prayers and shut up. Prayers ARE huge and appreciated.
Then, in the middle of my sulking and disappointment, God turned my head. Once I was looking in the right direction, God showed me others’ lights shining brightly through my dark clouds. People that I didn’t expect came through. New people shed new light. I realized that though my expectations in general may be valid, the people who would meet them were rather unexpected. I also realized that I have failed others. People have expected things from me… sometimes I rise to the challenge… and other times I fall flat. But, God ALWAYS provides… it may not be in the way that we want or expect, most of the time it’s better.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19