Deployments and Disappointments…

I’ve been dealing with some anger and disappointment lately.  Neither of which are God approved.  I’ve been feeling very convicted about my feelings.  So, I’ve spent time in prayer and figured I’d share.  Maybe you haven’t had the same circumstances, but you can relate to the feelings.

Deployments, for lack of a better word, suck.  It is hard for those of us that are left behind, but I would argue that it’s much harder for the ones that leave.  Our sailors and soldiers leave their families because duty called.  They miss hugs from their spouse and children, they miss birthdays, births, first steps, I could go on forever.  They are in foreign territory, usually around very ungodly people.  They are surrounded by bad influences, gunfire, unbearable heat, freezing cold, dirt, or water.

I can guarantee you not one of them ever made an excuse that they were too busy to stand a watch amidst gunfire for your freedom, or that they didn’t know you well enough to enter enemy gunfire to protect your homeland.  When they got a call they said “yes sir.”  That being said, it makes me so angry that men and women in the US military sometimes feel forgotten.  I’m dealing with this on a personal level right now and my feelings are high.

I understand that you “pray for” and “think about” them and that’s all well and good.  But, do they know that?  How can you call them a friend if you “are too busy” to send an email or simply forgot?! REALLY?!  Imagine if it were you… you get up in the morning check your email… nothing… mail call everyday… nothing.  How would that make YOU feel?  Well, I know how it makes me feel and now, I guess you do too! 😉

So, I’ve had to pray about my feelings and I’ve come to realize that I‘ve placed MY expectations on others.  I am mad, not because they didn’t do what was promised, but because they haven’t done what I think they should’ve.  So, that isn’t good.  I seem to think that if you consider yourself a good friend, you would make contact every now and then.  Maybe I should just accept the prayers and shut up.  Prayers ARE huge and appreciated.

Then, in the middle of my sulking and disappointment, God turned my head.  Once I was looking in the right direction, God showed me others’ lights shining brightly through my dark clouds.  People that I didn’t expect came through.  New people shed new light.  I realized that though my expectations in general may be valid, the people who would meet them were rather unexpected.   I also realized that I have failed others.  People have expected things from me… sometimes I rise to the challenge… and other times I fall flat.  But, God ALWAYS provides… it may not be in the way that we want or expect, most of the time it’s better.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

5 thoughts on “Deployments and Disappointments…

  1. Thank you Ashli for sharing from your heart!! It is very difficult for everyone involved, but especially for those who leave their families behind. I pray that God would stir our hearts to show you guys, especially Ray, just how special you are to us and to Him! I love you very much!!

  2. Another great post! You know, even though I am quite the veteran at being left behind, I still feel these things and I still can’t help but question sometimes. This deployment has been so much like your last paragraph. I’ve had not the help I’ve “needed” or the help that I have prayed for, but the help I never knew to ask for and never thought I’d receive … all from places I’d never even dream of it coming from. The blessing is just what you’ve realized, that God knows our needs and provides them perfectly. And our need is also to be completely reliant upon Him for all things. I think military wives are a bit stronger than others. That said, we tend to need to be “broken” in different ways, else our strength becomes our weakness.
    Praying for you constantly. And I will try to do a better job of, oh let’s say, putting the hairdryer down when I think of you and just send you a note right then and there so you know!! 🙂 Keep up the great work … or shall I say, keep allowing God to shine through you my friend!! Much love, mk

    • MK, it’s not me so much that this is referring to… it’s my husband. I just don’t think people truly understand how isolated that they are away from home. Care packages are nice, but they do take work. An email however, requires a bare minimum of effort. It upsets me that his friends can’t even manage to send one. 🙁 But, like I said, unexpected people come through! And God ALWAYS comes through!!

      • Ah, okay. I guess it would be quite the switch to go from a civilian to active reserve, which is what I believe he is?? Richard doesn’t really have issues with that. I guess b/c he’s so used to it:). I don’t know. But good, very good point either way it is read. Has he started his assignment yet? If not then maybe once it’ll be better. I am always thankful when Richard is busy. Too much down town isn’t good for morale at all. But you’re right … people are clueless and it really isn’t to their fault. How can they possibly know? It’ll get better.

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