Fine Line…

walkingthelineMilitary life is hard.  Deployment… harder.  Our family has paid its dues over the past few years.  We spent two years apart, three months together, and are currently on month two of a nine month deployment.

For the most part, I have managed here on the home front.  My husband manages is duties, too.  It is difficult to have a life separate, yet together.  The only thing that gets us through is prayer, our faith in God, and our friends and family.

Currently, my husband is feeling like he’s missed so much of our boys’ lives… too much.  I try to reassure him that he will be home soon, that they love him dearly, that he is serving a greater purpose… I just try to reassure him.

There is a fine line that I walk everyday… every email… every conversation.  The line between, I can handle this and I need you… between the boys are doing great and they need some daddy discipline… between I miss you so much and I’m ok.

We have to keep going, because that is our job.  Our husbands go because that is their job.  It is hard when dark moods settle in… depression… loneliness. It’s hard to be independent all the while reassuring your spouse how much you actually need him.  I can’t seem too needy or he feels bad being away, but I can’t seem too “together” or he feels like we don’t need him.

It’s a fine line… We are walking it… We pray… We have faith… We love…

Love… “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7


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