Wedding Shower Etiquette…

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WeddingWedding season is upon us!  In fact, I will be attending one tomorrow.  They are alwaysusually… well, hopefully, a sweet reminder to us married folks of our own special day.  In this generation of “me,” well… “you,”  I want to share some wedding shower etiquette.  I think that as time has gone by, somebody forgot to teach certain things.  So… here we go.  They are numbered… not in any particular order except for number one.  Number one is the most important… seriously!

  1.  DO NOT EVER invite someone to your wedding shower that you are not planning on inviting to your wedding.  This may or may not have happened to me in the past (it did).  What this says to the person is “I don’t think enough of you to invite you to our special day and pay for you to eat at our reception… but, I want you to use your free time and your money to buy me stuff anyway.”  TACKY… just plain tacky.
  2. Always send a paper invitation.  I understand that you young people have grown up in the age of technology, but we old people are the ones buying you the good gifts.  We need the courtesy of a paper invitation in the mail.
  3. You may have invited a guest to your shower at the request of your parents or soon-to-be in-laws.  You may not know the person very well.  Heck, you may not even like her/him.  Get over it.  If the person showed up, that means that they care about you… or at least the parents enough to buy you a gift and show up.  This means, that even though it may be awkward, you will need to speak to the person… maybe even take a picture with them.  Be kind.
  4. Games… I get it, there will always be games at showers.  It you have a shower with just your young, unmarried or recently married friends, by all means play “Wedding Bingo” or “Don’t say Wedding” or “Hide the Ring in a Cupcake.”  However, if you are having a multi-generational, even co-ed, shower… may I suggest… “Tips for Life from Old People.”  You will get suggestions like how to make your husband stop snoring, best earplugs to buy, always answer “no, you are beautiful” when your wife asks if the dress makes her look fat, make sure to share “the biscuits” at least once a week.  These are important life lessons that us old people are happy to share.  More so than watching you make wedding dresses out of toilet paper!
  5. Make sure there is food… and cake.  That’s why I go… for cake… preferably chocolate cake.
  6. Make sure that you acknowledge and thank… publicly, at your shower… your host(s).  They went through a lot of planning, money, and trouble to make this event special for you.  Let them and everyone else know that you are thankful.
  7. This isn’t about the shower, but your wedding… do not spend extravagantly on you wedding.  Make it nice, but not expensive.  Weddings are usually thirty minutes.  Receptions can be done without breaking the bank.  Save you money for your honeymoon or a down payment on a house.  Be smart!
  8. ALWAYS… ALWAYS send thank you cards.  There is no excuse under the sun for neglecting this task.  Well, maybe if you are in a coma or something, but that’s about it.  If someone has used their time, which I personally don’t have a lot extra, to shop, wrap, and attend… I need a card.  I need to know that you appreciate my effort.  I know that writing cards can be cumbersome, but it is necessary.  You may not think so… but the ones that bought your gifts do.  And, do not wait until you are back from your honey moon to send cards.  Although, better late than never, but you should have a card out within two weeks of your shower.  I know you are busy, but make the effort.

I think that’s about it.  Those are the important ones anyway.  It will give you a leg up on your friends. I hope that you have a fantastic shower… wedding… and married life.  Most important marriage tip… live for Christ.

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant that yourselves.” Philippians 2:3